What If...

After the success of the popular BBC series If, in which real issues are explored through drama documentaries, I've been asking questions which they didn't have time to cover.
Whilst I was away at the weekend I gave some thought to what would happen if I was given the following commission:

"Go ahead and produce pretty much the sweetest two volume pocket reference book ever"

Probably the first thing I would do would be to get a subject. When thinking about this I realised that I would almost certainly write about Craig Carlos. I mean, I've pretty much got all the info I need since I was honored enough to walk to school with him from 1999 to 2002 (inclusive).
I would start the first volume off with a Forward by Martyn Evans, who would set the book in its historical context. The rest of the volume would basically be essays and dissertations about Carlos. In the margins I would probably put little bits of information and Carlos trivia, such as:
"Did you know that... Carlos is awesome?"
The second volume would be set aside to a photo-documentary about Carlos, which I would probably ask Hutch to do. I'd pretty much give him a wide brief in order to give him a good amount of artistic headroom, but I would ask him to make sure he gets some pictures of Carlos in the following locations:

-Strolling around in Llanishen or Thornhill
-Down the allotment, tending to his vegetable patch
-In his bathroom, or as Carlos insists on calling it, his Salle de Bain

So that would be pretty much the sweetest two volume pocket reference book ever.
The only problem I would guess is that it would be so sweet, regular paper might not be able to handle it. In which case it would probably have to be spread over a few more volumes, until technology cathes up and develops a sweet enough paper.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can get back to my normal business.