The all singing, all dancing blog of Alex Guite

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Always first with the lastest trends

As I've probably mentioned to you if I've met you in the last few days, internet phenomena are up there in my top ten methods for distracting myself during revision periods.
As if the arrival of facebook at Imperial wasn't enough, there is actually a double whammy in the shape of Google Trends. Apparently "with Google Trends, [I] can compare the world's interest in [my] favorite topics". Which is great, as I've always wondered whether the world prefers the infrared region or the ultraviolet region of the electromagnetic spectrum. It turns out that people generally prefer their light with wavelengths between 10μm and 1000μm, except for a brief period in early 2006 when the world showed considerable interest in the ultraviolet region. You know, infrared is so 2005.
An imaginary person, conceived entirely as a method for starting this paragraph, recently complained to me that there is just too much hustling and bustling nowadays. I decided to check this out. I can't deny that there is a significant and growing amount of 'hustle' about, but their claim that there is an equal amount of 'bustle' simply doesn't stand up to rigorous scrutiny.
One of the great claims of the internet is that it connects people. So are people
principally 'here' or 'there'? During most of the year in the United Kingdom, people are chiefly 'there', except for a number of brief periods in which a large proportion of the citizenry suddenly migrate to 'here'. Subsequently, they return to 'there'. Interestingly, the majority of Bradford's population claim to be 'here', whilst denizens of other British cities predominantly assert that they are in fact as expected 'there'.
I was pretty disappointed to discover that a search for Alex Guite doesn't yield enough search volume to produce graphs. I'd been really looking forward to comparing incidences of my name with searches for "most compelling blog description of the events following the disappearance of a flatmate's toothbrush".
I always like to thing that my blog posts have a strong moral dimension to them. Recent morals have included: always eat your greens; don't kill cute cartoon animals; and so forth. It looks like it's paying off: there is a whole lot of love out there.
Unfortunately, people don't seem to share my passion for the Taylor series so much and only have one thing on their mind.

12 Comments:

At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:51:00 AM, Anonymous Gav said...

A mildly amusing and informative post. I can quite happily say that 'cunt' was bigger in 2004 than it is now, in 2006. In contrast, 'penis' has remained fairly constant in volume. 'Gavin' saw a large increase earlier this year, and is generally growing in popularity. Despite similar peaks at the beginning of the year, 'Martyn' is, unfortunately, decreasing in popularity. 'Guite' shows an interesting trend, which is mainly straight lines. No peaks or dips for that young French man. 'TQ Boy' has no volume, and nor does 'Big Gay Hutch'. 'Whyman' is the most interesting and, possibly, comedic. You should check it out for yourself and draw your own conclusions. It works well to describe his oft psychopathic mentality. I really can't get enough of the Whyman graph - you must look: http://www.google.co.uk/trends?q=whyman&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all. Brilliant. And exactly is Iran the number one country for searching for 'Cunt'? This, any many more such exciting questions of life, shall be answered in Guite's next blog post. However, as he would never dare reference a comment in his blog, this is unlikely.

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:52:00 AM, Anonymous gav said...

Oh, and one more thing, why is Paris the biggest search for the biblical 'double penetration' - surely they have their own dirty French term for it?

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:54:00 AM, Anonymous Gav said...

And why the hell is Tom Court so big in Milwaukee?!?!?!?!?!11111??////?!?!?!?111!?!?!?!/1/1!?

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 3:29:00 PM, Anonymous Mr Milwaukee 2006 said...

ev, the most popular man in Turkey. apparently.

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 6:12:00 PM, Anonymous TBR's Martin Archer said...

I also recommend www.googlefight.com

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's crap. You have no volume Archer.

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:16:00 PM, Anonymous Vanish said...

Archer your comments are a stain on this fine blog. shame on you.

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:28:00 PM, Anonymous AG said...

easy now, this is a family blog

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:47:00 PM, Anonymous alex said...

actually dont go easy... i want my blog to become ONE BIG DISS.

blog diss shit.

 
At Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:58:00 PM, Anonymous Vanish said...

Glad to see that TBR's Martin Archer is actually straight, contrary to popular opinion. Just look at those photos!

 
At Monday, May 15, 2006 4:20:00 PM, Anonymous gav said...

Ah man, I just realised I am a chav.

 
At Monday, May 15, 2006 4:23:00 PM, Anonymous gav said...

Man, I'm sorry, I've realised I'm even more of a chav than I previously thought...

 

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