The all singing, all dancing blog of Alex Guite

Saturday, May 06, 2006

This flat says 'no' to poor dental hygiene

About a month ago I wrote one of my favorite blog posts to date. It told the story of what happened when my housemate's toothbrush got blown out of our apartment's window. The post had everything: great character development and a plot so gripping I should probably have reminded readers to return from the edges of their seats after reading it.
Avid followers will recall that the drama began when my housemate, TBR's Martin Archer, invited answers from Andy and myself to the following question: "Guys, where's my toothbrush?". Neither of us knew the answer to that question, but we did know the location of our own toothbrushes. They were in our own bedrooms charging up, ready for the kind of top class dental scrubbing that leads nine out of ten dentists to recommend electric toothbrushes over their manual counterparts (note: statistics may be fabricated).
Concerned that Martin may loose yet another toothbrush to the soft breath of a gusting wind, Andy and I took the opportunity of Martin's 22nd birthday last Monday to buy him a top of the range, dual head electric toothbrush. In addition to cleaning action so virile that Martin's winning smile will soon be featured on a billboard poster near you, a strange symmetry has descended on the flat. In every bedroom, an electric toothbrush stands tall and proud on it's inductive charger, impervious to the strong hand of the wind, each one an affirmation of humanity's dominance over dental plaque.
Quite by coincidence, last Tuesday all three of us found ourselves in the bathroom together cleaning our teeth, as Martin tried his new electric toothbrush. For the first time the three of us were able to nonchalantly stand around and allow our motorised toothbrushes do the hard work. Always quick on the observational humour, Andy quipped "Alex, I bet you're going to blog about this".


At Sunday, May 07, 2006 11:01:00 AM, Anonymous GaV said...

That was rubbish.
Write about your vote misfortunes.

At Sunday, May 07, 2006 11:28:00 AM, Anonymous hutch said...

I too know the pain of mislaying one's prized dental broom.

"what the hell would you know about surfing Major? You're from goddamn New Jersey."

At Sunday, May 07, 2006 1:11:00 PM, Anonymous Gav said...

You didn't tell me you were online. Alas, it is now too late. Well, it may not be.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 1:26:00 AM, Anonymous Richard said...

Excellent. I feel this is the kind of long running saga that the plots of a sitcom could be based upon.

Note: if you do write a sitcom about toothbrushes, then I want some money for having suggested the idea.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 2:08:00 PM, Anonymous tom said...

Your blog needs more bass.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 5:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alex does it twice a day

At Monday, May 08, 2006 8:02:00 PM, Anonymous GggGGGGg said...

Haha more bass baby.
I respect that shit.
Oh, and statistically, Alex does it -13.75 times a day. Some days, however, he doesn't do it at all.

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006 10:21:00 PM, Anonymous hutch said...

I'd say it was lacking in treble.

Also, I'd say the amount of times Alex does it a day is directly related to his proximity to Whyman, in metres. Hence

T(imes) = D(istance to Yman) x C(leanliness of teeth) - H(at Fetish disregard margin).

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006 11:07:00 PM, Anonymous tom said...

Would alex's blog implode if he were to write his next blog as a comment to this one?

Perhaps also the next blog could or should be an introspective on the seemingly unrelated conversation it provokes through the medium of comments.

And if this blog were written as a comment, surely the recursive nature of such an act would cause the universe to end or at the very least, make the glass half full.

At Thursday, May 11, 2006 6:26:00 PM, Anonymous Gav said...

Dogg - what. the. fuck?!

Too much revision. Sleep now little one.


Post a Comment

<< Home