The all singing, all dancing blog of Alex Guite

Friday, August 19, 2005


Started the day with a smile on my face today: my sister got 3A's and a B in her A-levels. Best of all, this means she's coming to London next year to study Geography at UCL.
Well done!

"LASER" vision

If you're of a weak constitution, you might want to look away now.
Pete and I had "LASER" eye tests today, so that we can do sweet physics with Class 4 "LASERs".
The first part of the test was just your run of the mill eye test. You read a series of letters off a wall to the obvious delight of the optometrist. They say, "Well done, you've got the vision thing", and then you just go home and carry on about your normal business.
But in the "LASER" eye test, the optometrist goes ahead and puts some drops in your eyes to widen the pupils. Twenty minutes later everything is unbearably bright and you can't focus on anything closer than a metre.
I can't have had an even dose between the eyes: my right pupil was far bigger than my left, lending me a special deranged look. Need to get some for Halloween.
The end game of all of this was to get some quality images of my retinas. Check it out...

So now I can use Class 4 "LASERs". Sweet.

Monday, August 15, 2005

What If...

After the success of the popular BBC series If, in which real issues are explored through drama documentaries, I've been asking questions which they didn't have time to cover.
Whilst I was away at the weekend I gave some thought to what would happen if I was given the following commission:

"Go ahead and produce pretty much the sweetest two volume pocket reference book ever"

Probably the first thing I would do would be to get a subject. When thinking about this I realised that I would almost certainly write about Craig Carlos. I mean, I've pretty much got all the info I need since I was honored enough to walk to school with him from 1999 to 2002 (inclusive).
I would start the first volume off with a Forward by Martyn Evans, who would set the book in its historical context. The rest of the volume would basically be essays and dissertations about Carlos. In the margins I would probably put little bits of information and Carlos trivia, such as:
"Did you know that... Carlos is awesome?"
The second volume would be set aside to a photo-documentary about Carlos, which I would probably ask Hutch to do. I'd pretty much give him a wide brief in order to give him a good amount of artistic headroom, but I would ask him to make sure he gets some pictures of Carlos in the following locations:

-Strolling around in Llanishen or Thornhill
-Down the allotment, tending to his vegetable patch
-In his bathroom, or as Carlos insists on calling it, his Salle de Bain

So that would be pretty much the sweetest two volume pocket reference book ever.
The only problem I would guess is that it would be so sweet, regular paper might not be able to handle it. In which case it would probably have to be spread over a few more volumes, until technology cathes up and develops a sweet enough paper.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can get back to my normal business.

A ginger maverick writes...

Hello chums.
According to Technorati, one blog is created every second. Moreover, 55% of new bloggers still post three months after they started. I don't want to let the side down, so I've decided to post some more stuff. That and Hutch told me to.
I've just got back from Cardiff where I celebrated 21 magnificent years of Carlos.
In order to get ready for the celebrations, I managed to get in a cheeky 40km cycle in on Saturday which took me around to Castell Coch, which was pretty sweet.
Whilst I'm on the subject of cheekiness, Gav and I failed to meet for a cheeky pint on Friday evening, despite me arriving back in Cardiff in time for last orders. Next time we'll have to synchronise our time pieces.
I predicted that during the celebrations we would probably at some juncture start dancing, so I took the precaution of preparing for this by getting some tips from Napoleon Dynamite. This theoretical prediction was confirmed when we did indeed start dancing.
Was a quality night back in Cardiff. Carlos gave me 'full marks' for buying him a pint, which I appreciated.
Other interesting events of the night was the taxi ride back with a frankly curious driver. I also saw another example of the Moire effect, something which keeps on happening to me now.